i don’t know what to say here. i’ve never been good at writing, especially not my feelings. i just know that i’ve been trying my very hardest to get things back to the way they were. but that won’t happen until we both change back into the people we were.
i feel like you’re a robot. just drifting through the days and not really feeling anything anymore. you used to be this insightful girl who i would listen to because you inspired me with everything you said, but what is there to be inspired by now? there’s nothing but silence. i try to talk to you, but i never have anything to say because nothing i say is really that important, it’s just small talk trying to break the slience and the awkward moments that have been lingering for quite some time now. we are growing apart, yes. but i know that we can fix it. and i’m really trying. and i know you’re trying too, but i feel like you could really care less if you lost me because if you did, you would still have other friends to fall back on. who do i have? no one. i have no potential best friends if something were to happen. i didn’t plan ahead like you did because i was set on the fact that we would be best friends forever. but things change, people change, hearts get broken, friends leave, but the world doesn’t stop for any of that. i told you that i’m here for good, and i am. but i feel like you’re still testing that fact like it’s going to change. i can only bend so far before i break in half. and i’m almost to my breaking point. but even if i were to break, i would take the two halfs and make them bend until they break too.
i can’t do this alone, i need your help. but you need to stop seeing that one of your other friends can do something that i can’t and then heighten your expectations from me. i’m not your other friends, i can’t be them. and if that’s not good enough, i’m sorry. but that’s the way it is.
