November 2010
2 posts
YOU DON'T CARE A BIT
Here’s the thing, you say you care so much about me, but you have absoultely never shown any sign of caring or any other good emotion toward me other than kissing me on occasion. I’m sick of giving you second, third, hundreds of chances. All for what? You criticizing every move I make. You making me feel like absolute shit everyday. So, what am I doing here? I should have left a long...
December 2009
4 posts
my amount is little, but my support is sincere.
you’re a melody soaring softly through my atmosphere.
Love of mine someday you will die, but i’ll be close behind, I’ll follow you into the dark
why?
so i’ve been away from tumblr for a while and i was going through all of the pages of things i’ve missed while i’ve been absent and i can’t help but feel sad when reading your posts, nikki. not just sad. but a little bit upset. especially after i read the one named “eventually; a tribute to the past.” that one really got me. why do you constantly write and think...
November 2009
15 posts
one month in hell
The stars lean down to kiss you, And I lie awake I miss you, Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere. Cause I’ll doze off safe and soundly, But I’ll miss your arms around me I’ll send a postcard to you dear, Cause I wish you were here. I watch the night turn light blue, But it’s not the same without you, Because it takes two to whisper quietly, The silence isn’t so bad,...
“spare us the rescue, we’re not lost we just go where we want. when we roll...”
– breathe carolina
no one's good enough
so i was facebook stalking as usual and i was looking at pictures of some guy i don’t know and i immediately drew the conclusion in my mind that i would never date him, even though i didn’t know him. then i caught myself thinking this and i wondered why i had drawn that conclusion in the first place. then i realized that this guy had a pimple on his cheek. and because of that one...
i love you
nikki. everyone you ever meet is taken with you. i was taken with you. you are everyone’s dream, but you’re my reality. i don’t have much to say, i’m so tired. just know that i love you. more than anyone else in the world. more than myself.
here's why:
why do i feel like i need to change myself, you ask. because i feel like if i don’t learn how to change, you’ll leave. you’ll get bored with my constant whinning, and you’ll leave. you’ll get so scared that i’m going to hurt you, so you’ll leave before i ever have the chance to say “don’t go, i love you.” i’m not mad at you for...
okay
please don’t make it seem like i haven’t done anything at all in this relationship. don’t act like i haven’t chased you to the edge of the earth and back. don’t pretend that i haven’t changed. don’t assume that my words mean nothing. don’t let yourself believe that i won’t love you forever. don’t get too ahead of yourself, nikki. i am...
it doesn't matter
where we take this road, someone’s gotta go.
absolutely nothing
just because i find someone who fingers fit with mine, that doesn’t mean they’ll fit the same way yours do. no one will ever replace you. not even if i’m madly in love with them. your place in my heart is secure, you have nothing to worry about.
but what about me? what about when you find your person too? the person that can be with you the way i can’t. the person who has...
i won't sleep tonight
until you get home.
“I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought...”
– boys like girls
half life
i knew that i’d get like this again. that’s why i try to keep at bay, be 100% when i’m with you and then the perfect heart’s length away. the stickler is you’ve played not one beat wrong. you never promised me anything, even sat me down and warned me just how they fall. i knew the odds were i’d never win, yet here i am. it’s a half life with you as my...
i'm dying to know
i’m dying to know what’s in your head. i’m dying to know how it all got in there. i’m dying to know, to help make some sense of it all. i’m dying to know. tell me, is it all my fault? and i care about you darling. of course i care about you. more than anyone else.
October 2009
18 posts
"and how does that make you feel?"
as i sit here and listen to the words of artists i realize that i’m never going to have the ability to feel so strongly about a subject or a person to come up with the words they do. my words are insignificant and meaningless. sure, i’m creative in some aspects of my life, but what is creativity without passion? my days are filled with deep thoughts, but most of them are about how...
“There’s a place in life where people fit,
And we are not a part of this,...”
– a day at the fair
“I don’t get you. i can’t forget what you’ve forgotten. all...”
– shiny toy guns
we all fall to pieces
but at least you fell to me <3
this always will be.
this is.
this was.
this is my reaction
to everything i fear. cause i’ve been going crazy, i don’t want to waste another minute here.
dear kristen,
chase what and who makes you happy. you seem to have found your person, and that’s a rare occurance this early in life. you’re very lucky. don’t lose sight of what’s important to you. it doesn’t matter if other people don’t like it, you’re happy and that’s all that matters.
i know that we’re not very close, but i would like to be, not because...
all i've ever wanted
you’re the best thing i’ve ever had in every way. you know exactly what to say to make my day, you know how to make me laugh until i have to pee, and the right things to do to make me want to cry because i’m so lucky to have you. don’t ever think that you’re not good enough, or that anyone will ever replace you, that’s ridiculous. you’re perfect. i love...
“If you should die before me, ask if you can bring a friend.”
– stone temple pilots
i love you
forever.
i'm here
you know that i’m here forever. you know that i’m never going to find anyone as good as you. i understand why you’re scared of losing me since you can’t be around me all the time now, but you don’t realize that i’m just as scared. i’m scared that while you’re grounded you’ll realize that you didn’t really need me to survive, you could do...
i get by with a little help from my friends, or...
i don’t know what to say here. i’ve never been good at writing, especially not my feelings. i just know that i’ve been trying my very hardest to get things back to the way they were. but that won’t happen until we both change back into the people we were.
i feel like you’re a robot. just drifting through the days and not really feeling anything anymore. you used to...
this is
war.
“i’m finally seeing, why i was the one worth leaving.”
– the postal service
things change, people change
and i’m now 2nd in command. i tried, but i’ll never win.